Happiness Is ...

I realised how I was once so happy and easily contented with the things I had. Trivial stuff like my sticker collection was a treasure to me. It seemed so long since I was a child. Things are so different now.

My father still remembers my favourite colour as yellow. Haha. It has been blue for a long time already but he doesn't know. I've quietly grown without seemingly changing much. And I can't bear to let him know the me now, how much I've changed. I don't want him to feel strange to me, although the distance standing between us have grown so much. I don't want to admit that I have become the self-centered and result-driven person.

I've brought too much disappointment. I'm supposed to be the soldier who never loses his composure, remember. But I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore today. The strength broke. My front shattered. It felt good to let it out though. I wanted so much to cry for a long time already, but I somehow just couldn't. At last today it flowed. Although I still kept lots of tears to myself, I feel so much better already.

Funny how things work. I've gotta cry to feel happier.

Begin the Beguine

I'm with you once more under the stars,
And down by the shore an orchestra's playin'
Even the palms seems to be swayin'
When they begin the beguine

To live it again is past all endeavour,
Except when that tune clutches my heart,
And there we are swearin' to love forever,
And promising never, never to part

So, don't let them begin the beguine,
Let the love that was once a fire remain an ember

Let it sleep like the dead desire I only remember,
When they begin the beguine

'Till the stars that were there before return above you,
'Till you whisper to me once more, "Darling, I love you!"
And we suddenly know, what heaven we're in,
When they begin the beguine

New

This is one old bear. But the photograph is new :)