Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I Feel Like I Need To Die

I do not happen to be your punchbag, nor do I owe you my life.

Times like this, the thought of dying is very tempting. I was on the verge of walking out onto the road, into a car.

Maybe this is why I never missed here. I probably didn't want to be here to begin with.

Then I realise how many people I will miss if I die. And I got selfish. Forced the self to walk on pedestrain pathways.

Also, I think this is why I cannot commit myself. Cos' I never open up to others.

I dedicate myself to this deserted space, this space with only me.

I doubt I should ever imagine growing old. Even at the age of seventeen the thought of dying is so luring. I'd have to go through this and fight it back a million times over. I will give in very soon.

I will write and write and just write my life away.

Here's to the day I die.


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